On Pop Tarts. A Half Baked, Totally Fictional Scripted Dramatization of How The Pop Tarts Bowl Came To Be.
Why can't more things be this fun? And shout out to The Bee Movie.
CONTEXT - Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past half-decade or so, you surely understand that Memes run the world. They can spread mass awareness & information, turn around businesses’ bottom-lines, influence elections, sway the masses to think differently, and most importantly: Impart a bit of joy in an otherwise dark, dank, & dastardly social internet. Credit to the team at Pop Tarts for recognizing & understanding this, perhaps, better than any other team in the world. Last night, we were treated to the second annual Pop Tarts Bowl, which has arguably become the most entertaining Bowl game in all of college football, all because of the brilliant & bold decision makers in Pop Tarts Brand Marketing. I’ll spare you the full explanation, but dive into either of the links above to discover the absurdity & humor of the whole thing.
It truly is a treat—and a joyful, standout effort worthy of all the applause and awards bestowed in the world of advertising.
DISCLAIMER - The following is a totally made up, completely fictional, utterly untrue dramatization of how the team at Kellogg’s came up with, in my opinion, one of the best marketing stunts we’ve seen in years. The characters are based on absolutely nobody and the dialogue is patently false. All respect to Kellogg’s, and, especially, the In-house teams & Agency partners who brought this incredible idea to life. We need more fun in the world. And there’s nothing more fun in modern marketing than this.
INT. CORPORATE BOARD ROOM - EVENING
Several men & women in ill-fitting business casual attire sit across a large, rectangular table in a windowless room. There are white boards & oversized papers strung about the room. One man paces, stress clearly visible.
POP TARTS EXEC #1
Team, I don’t quite know how to say to say this. But Pop Tarts is in pop-touble. Our pop-revenues have declined for three straight pop-quarters and frankly I’m about to lose my popping mind—
POP TARTS EXEC #2
Are you saying ‘Pop’ before every other word?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
No, only some things. And don’t interrupt me. This is serious. Big Nutrition is pushing a worldwide agenda against highly processed, empty-caloric, sugary snacks and we find ourselves right in the crosshairs of this smear attack. Parents want their kids to eat healthier—and that whole ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ thing isn’t helping our cause.
POP TARTS EXEC #2
What if we put R&D into producing a healthier version? We can see what it would take to recreate our signature flavors, but replace some of the current ingredients with—
POP TARTS EXEC #1
Please, Lisa, I told you, don’t interrupt me. I’m not looking for ideas. I’m looking for BIG ideas.
POP TARTS EXEC #3
What if…what if we make a full-length feature film?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
We did that last year!
POP TARTS EXEC #2
Did anybody see it?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
See what?
POP TARTS EXEC #2
The movie you literally just mentioned.
POP TARTS EXEC #1
What movie?
POP TARTS EXEC #2
Didn’t you just say we made a movie last year?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
We did! Well, kinda. Jerry Seinfeld made it. But it was about us! And how am I supposed to know who saw it?
POP TARTS EXEC #4 (raises hand)
Was it The Bee Movie?
POP TARTS EXEC #1 (squinting one eye, in confusion)
What’s The Bee Movie? Stay on track people, please. We don’t have time for this foolishness. We need BIG ideas. We need NEW ideas. And we need them NOW.
POP TARTS EXEC #3
What if we did a Podcast? We could interview influencers about their favorite Pop Tarts and how much they mean to—
POP TARTS EXEC #1 (yawning)
Next!
POP TARTS EXEC #2
Are you sure you don’t want to just look at our ingredients and make a few changes and maybe do some press around--
POP TARTS EXEC #1 (slamming his fists on the desk)
I said NEXT!
POP TARTS EXEC #3
I got it! Edible billboard.
POP TARTS EXEC #1
Not bad, not bad. But we need BIGGER.
POP TARTS EXEC #3
What if we make GIANT edible billboards?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
Dammit, Craig! I said BIGGER!
There’s a loud thud. POP TARTS EXEC #4, the youngest in the room, has leaned back too far in his roily-chair and fallen. He climbs to his knees, looking as if he just discovered gold.
POP TARTS EXEC #4
Guys, what if...what if...what if we sponsor a college football bowl game?
POP TARTS EXEC #1 (pondering)
Hmmm...the National Championship?
POP TARTS EXEC #4
No, no, we can sponsor the game that happens between the second place team in one conference and the third place team in another...
POP TARTS EXEC #1
In Los Angeles? New York?
POP TARTS EXEC #4
No, no. Orlando.
POP TARTS EXEC #2
This doesn’t sound like a good--
POP TARTS EXEC #4
And we’ll make mascots. Several mascots in all of our most popular flavors. Strawberry, Wild Berry, Frosted Cinnamon Roll...
POP TARTS EXEC #1 continues pacing the room, only his pace is getting quicker. POP TARTS EXEC #2 buries her head into her palms & sighs.
POP TARTS EXEC #4
And we’ll make a giant stage at halftime and it’ll be in the shape of a giant toaster and we’ll do a live sacrifice of one of the mascots....
POP TARTS EXEC #1
…And then what?
POP TARTS EXEC #4
And then the winning team will eat the toasted pop tart mascot! It’ll rain Pop Tarts from the ceiling, we’ll take over social media, and in just a few years, WE’LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
POP TARTS EXEC #1
YES! YES! That’s what I’m talking about! Approved! APPROVED! Let’s get rolling. Lisa, call whoever is in charge of college football. Shane, find a costume designer to make the mascots immediately.
POP TARTS EXEC #2
Are we seriously going to do this?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
I’d rather die in glory than live in mediocrity. Craig, crunch the numbers, I need all of our demand planning dollars reallocated to this one moment, stat. Shane, you’ve just been promoted.
POP TARTS EXEC #4
Can I be one of the mascots?
POP TARTS EXEC #1
Mascot? Son, the way you’re going, someday, you’ll run this entire frosted empire.
POP TARTS EXEC #4
I just want to be the Wild Berry Mascot, I don’t really want to send anymore e-mails.
POP TARTS EXEC #4 wraps his arm around POP TARTS EXEC #4. POP TARTS EXEC #2 leaves the room as POP TARTS EXEC #3 violently pushes numbers on a calculator.
POP TARTS EXEC #1
E-mails? Where you’re going, son, they don’t have e-mails. Thank you, Shane. If we do this right, you’ll go down as the reason Pop Tarts lives another 100 hundred years. Jerry Seinfeld will have no choice but to play YOU in the sequel.
POP TARTS EXEC #4
Wow. I did always want to be in The Bee Movie.
POP TARTS EXEC #3 (lifting his head up from the calculator)
What’s The Bee Movie?
We gradually zoom out, revealing the board room is actually a makeshift room in a giant POP TARTS production facility. The POP TARTS EXECS continue high-fiving. The day is won, the company is saved.